When someone you love and trust as your life partner abuses you, you don’t just grieve the loss of a relationship. No matter what form of abuse you endure (emotional, physical, financial or all of the above), the end result is often the same. What abuse takes from you is the very essence of who you are. Your soul. You are left to question everything you once knew to be true. The burden of self-doubt, shame and despair is crushing. You are left wondering, “who am I” and “how do I get back me?”
Through this experience I was able to find the light in what happened to me, and an even more amazing version of me. And so I write this letter of gratitude to my abuser for kicking off the process that enabled me to discover how truly amazing I am!!!
To My Abuser: 12 Things I Am Thankful For
- Thank you for abuse so that I could develop my “Spidey Sense” around abusive people to keep me and my loved ones safe.
- Thank you for lying so that I have clarity about what it means to act with integrity.
- Thank you for cowardice so that I recognize courage.
- Thank you for terror so that I choose to enjoy the presence of safe, healthy people.
- Thank you for despair so that I know the importance of hope.
- Thank you for keeping me from my son so that I never take one moment of my time with him for granted.
- Thank you for fear and insecurity so I know unshakeable confidence.
- Thank you for rage so that I choose to live in peace.
- Thank you for sadness so that I choose to be joyful.
- Thank you for hate so that I truly know what it means to act with love.
- Thank you for showing me what love isn’t, so that I truly know what love is.
- Thank you for C-PTSD, so I could learn to overcome it, share my experience and learning — and possibly help others to recover from it.
In the end, thank you for showing me how freaking amazing I am.
Here I am. Here I am.